Tolbert Travels

Due Date: Tuesday, December 9th // Birthday: Sunday, December 14th (3rd Sunday of Advent – Joy)

We told Michaela and Martayez our boy name and our girl name as we passed off the envelope from the anatomy ultrasound to them. They are the best secret keepers and planners, so I shouldn’t be surprised that they put together the most thoughtful gift bag for us to open at the hospital after she was born. I absolutely loved waiting to find out the baby’s gender this time around and would definitely do it again. Kristoff announced to a room full of people, “It’s a girl!” and I was in disbelief! Elias (our 2-year-old) was correct the entire time, haha.

Now, let me back up to her unexpected birth story that we will be talking about for the rest of our lives. I still have adrenaline pulsing through me when I think about it. Kristoff and I have rehashed it 100x already, as we are blown away by the Lord’s provision and faithfulness.

I’m writing these words on a rainy and cold Thursday and Friday afternoon, while both of our babies are napping. I love that they are in sync. It’s dreary outside, but warm and cozy in here with all of our Christmas decor. I still can’t believe everything that has transpired in the last week.

Before Labor Started:

My maternity leave began on Tuesday, December 9th, so Elias and I headed to the zoo for a fun morning together. Wed-Fri, I also enjoyed the 1-1 time with him and started to prepare more for baby #2. On Saturday, we got one final family of 3 day together, and I curb-walked my heart out to try to move baby down more. We also scored another DaVinci crib and moved Elias to it (didn’t put the rail up on the side, so it’s more like a toddler bed now). He hasn’t gotten out without permission yet, so it’s working really well. I also bought a brand new Ergobaby infant insert off FB marketplace for just $20, so that I can use the carrier from day one. Yay!! Kristoff and I fell asleep that night talking about just how ready we were to meet our son or daughter. I was starting to get more impatient:)

38/39 wk appt: 1cm dilated, I took a photo of the “on call schedule,” so that I could know which doctor was on call when (our practice joins with another one). When I went into labor, I hopped on our home computer and read about the doctor on call whom I had never met before. A God wink? Tracy, the L&D nurse who helped deliver Elias, said she was fabulous and that I would be in wonderful hands. I felt relieved and grateful.

Fun Fact: I actually decided to switch to this doctor for my 6-week postpartum appt and future OB appts because she was that good.

40wk appt on Thursday, December 11th: 2cm dilated, got my membranes swept & prepared myself for going into labor that night (since I did on the same day as membranes swept with Elias).

I did not go into labor that night! Nope! Instead, I got to celebrate McKeen’s 23rd birthday with him over the weekend, and we attended another Advent Sunday service. I began to lose my mucus plug on Friday, 12/12, at 9:40am after taking a walk around our little neighborhood. I thought I would go into labor Friday night, but nope again. I experienced waiting & longing for the contractions to begin for the first time, as with Elias, I wasn’t waiting for long at all after my final OB appt. It was a unique experience.

Sunday, December 14th // Early Labor:

I woke up, and like many of the previous days, the baby felt low. I had successfully moved him/her into my pelvic area from all of the exercise I had been doing. I think I lost like 4lbs in the last few days haha.

We attended the 9am carols service at our church and then headed to Moore Park afterwards to enjoy the beautiful weather. My stomach was tightening and loosening a few times in church, but I wasn’t convinced it was really happening yet. It felt too good to be true, as I had been so excited to experience labor again.

At Moore Park, though, I realized that I was in the prelabor phase, as I had a few contractions that were very spaced out and easy to talk/laugh through. I started to get extremely excited. I walked up and down the amphitheater steps while Kristoff and Elias rode around the trails.

Elias fell off his bike at one point, and his middle finger was slightly bent backward. We freaked out! Kristoff pulled on it a little to see if he could relocate it, and he was successful. We were going towards the car for the doctor’s office when Elias asked to ride his bike again. We were like, “What?” as we watched him grip his handlebars. We set him back down and played for another 20 minutes or so. We left the park by 11am and headed to Walmart to grab a few things we wanted to have on hand for post-hospital. Kristoff just ran in, so it was quick. We were home eating lunch by 11:45am. I looked back at my camera roll and found one that Kristoff took of me reading to Elias on our couch at 12:51pm and then he went down to his nap by 1pm. Up until this point, I was not tracking my contractions as they weren’t painful and were very spaced out. I thought I might have a baby by midnight or early the next morning, but even that felt unreal to think about. (I was in labor for over 30 hours with Elias, so I was prepared for the long haul.)

Active Labor

When Elias was napping from 1pm – 3pm, my contractions started to pick up in intensity and were becoming more painful. I could no longer talk through them, and Kristoff worked through each wave with me. They were still inconsistently spaced, though. Around 3:30pm, there was a shift, and the contractions became VERY painful and lasted on average 45 seconds. I couldn’t believe it, as I thought I would have to work for a lot longer before they got more painful and more consistent. I told Kristoff, “I am in more pain now than when I decided to get the epidural at 5cm dilated with Elias!” This is the moment I remember him saying something like, “Alright, it’s time to go!! I’ll go wake Elias up from his nap.” I thought, “No way! This is wild. It is happening. I can’t wait to meet him/her.” I was so excited.

I reminded Kristoff to turn the oven off (our half-cooked dinner was in the refrigerator lol), and we ran out the door and hopped in our minivan. Mom and Dad live about 15 minutes from us, so that wasn’t a fun drive. We left for their house at 3:56PM and peeled off from their house at 4:12PM to head to the hospital. I remember Elias saying on the way to their house, “Daddy, go faster!” as he could sense my pain and the urgency we all felt.

After leaving their house, I was NOT looking forward to the drive to the hospital. A few minutes into the drive, I asked Kristoff to stop as I felt a contraction coming, and I had experienced enough contractions in the van to know that I would rather be outside of it for one. I stood next to our van and bent over slightly to be able to sway more easily. I felt a lot of pressure and pushed just slightly (sort of involuntarily). BOOM!! My water broke, and my leggings were soaked!! This was at 4:15pm. In less than one hour, we would get to meet our secondborn. Wild.

I grabbed 2 jackets and sat on them to ride the rest of the way to the hospital, so this shows I was mentally there enough to think about the seats in my new-to-me van:) I also called Tracy, the L&D nurse, who delivered Elias over 2.5 years ago. She talked to us on the way to the hospital, though we weren’t talking much because I was fighting through so, so many contractions. She was on her way to the hospital to meet us there. She missed her children’s play to be there for me, even though she wasn’t on call. God showed me extravagant care and love by sending her to me again when I needed her the most. I’ll never, ever forget her care, love, compassion, and kindness. She is a friend for the ages now.

We pulled up to the hospital, and Kristoff dropped me off at the front to park the van. I walked inside and up to the front desk to wait for him. I knew from doing this a little over 2.5 years ago that I had to take the elevator up one floor and check in at the Labor and Delivery desk, but I wanted to wait for Kristoff to go up. He is my anchor during each contraction, and I wouldn’t want to do a single one without him. The lady at the main front desk was chatting with me, and then all of a sudden, I felt a contraction coming. I used her desk to work through it while she jumped up to grab me a wheelchair in shock. I leaned over the blue wheelchair, and Kristoff appeared at the perfect moment to support me. I then sat down, and he wheeled me into the elevator. A man was on it, and all of a sudden we were going DOWN.

“Nooo” I thought, annoyed that we got on this elevator with him that was now going in the wrong direction. Kristoff told him that I was in labor, and the man was like, “What? Oh my gosh. What floor do you need?” Haha! Not the ground level.

We pull up to the L&D check-in desk, where you have to initial saying you will pay for things and do things. I signed nothing, as Kristoff was handling it! I jumped out of the wheelchair when I felt a contraction coming on, and Kristoff paused the paperwork process to work through it with me. We were officially checked in at 4:38pm. Tracy went back and looked at the time stamps for us because it’s wild how fast everything happened! This was 26 minutes before Arya made her entrance!

Around 4:40pm, we were headed back to triage to see how many cm dilated I was and get a pulse on how far my labor had progressed up to this point. My honest prediction was 6cm-8cm, as I felt like I had put a lot of work in at home, despite it not being very much time. Though I wasn’t sure because I felt the same way with Elias and arrived still in the “early labor” phase, aka too early. I remember being there ALL day as he wasn’t born until 11:38pm that night.

Wildly enough, Tracy (the best L&D nurse on the planet) walked into the triage room a mere minutes after we arrived, so she was the one who checked me at 4:45pm. She looked at me and giddily said, “Miriam! You are already 10cm dilated!!!”

I was blown away. I couldn’t believe it. Oh my goodness. 10cm! Insane.

She told me, “Okay. You have 2 options. You can try to get an epidural as planned, but it may not take or be effective with birth so imminent. The other option is to do this without the epidural since it may not work anyway.”

I didn’t hesitate … I would do this without an epidural (or any pain medication whatsoever) because it was happening now. There really was no choice to make.

They wheeled me to the delivery room. I think I was on my hands and knees working through each wave of contractions as they wheeled me down the hallway in the same bed used for triage.

They got an IV into my left arm, but it got ripped out during my first contraction in the new room. I remember the blood spraying and Tracy leaning over to stop it with her glove finger. They then had trouble getting another IV in me, so they didn’t worry about it again until after she was born. I was stuck with a needle so many times, and I have the bruises to prove it on both arms. Finally, they got an IV into me later on after she was born … though this was after a shot and tablets in my rectum to try to stop the bleeding. I was wishing I wouldn’t need one, but since I was bleeding a lot, they decided to put one in again, just in case. The IV was placed above my right elbow, so basically, the worst spot for breastfeeding. I requested that it be removed the next morning after my tests came back good, so then breastfeeding her was a lot more comfortable/doable.

There were probably six people in the delivery room. They were all amazed and blown away by the fast-paced nature of this event. When I was wheeled past their desks the first time to head into triage, they probably thought nothing too exciting was going to be happening for some time, but then all of a sudden, a birth was imminent. Wild!

Pushing Phase

I was in this phase within seconds of being in the delivery room. I worked through a total of four contractions. On the third contraction, Arya’s head was fully visible, but I didn’t have the strength to push again. I asked for a break, and they said, “0f course. You are doing incredibly. Keep listening to your body.” They were lavishing me with praise the entire time. I remember this about E’s birth, but this time was very different because they seemed more genuinely shocked by my composure. It felt funny because I didn’t really feel composed.

“You are calmer than some people are after getting their epidural. Have you done this before? How are you so calm?”

“You weren’t expecting to do this without an epidural, but you are doing incredible, and he/she will be here in the next few minutes. You are amazing. I am so impressed by your composure. You are so, so close.” etc.

When I felt the fourth contraction coming, I knew I had to do it then. No one could take my place in that moment. No one. It was my time to do what only my body could do. I pushed into the pain and kept going past any point of return. I was consumed by the pain. I felt the ring of fire and kept going. I kept going. I just remember feeling like I couldn’t do it, but then doing it. Arya Noelle was born at 5:04pm. Instant relief. I was so, so, so happy and proud….. excited and filled with both adrenaline and joy. How did I go from watching the JOY Advent candle being lit that morning in church to this moment? So grateful.

The umbilical cord was wrapped fully around Arya’s neck, but Dr. Stone was able to slip it over her head without any issues. Truly a miracle baby! She cried immediately, so she was placed directly on my chest and stayed there for over 2 hours before Kristof then did his skin-to-skin, and they weighed her for the first time. 8lbs and 1.5 oz. This was all only 26 minutes after we checked in at the L&D desk and not even one hour after my water broke on the side of the road.

Arya first latched at 5:40pm and has been nursing like a champ ever since.

I experienced my first tear with this birth since it happened so quickly and since Arya came out with her hand beside her head. She sleeps with her hands up by her face, which we think is super funny since this is how she came out of the womb. I had a “barely second-degree laceration” and a “small periurethral laceration” (no stitches needed on periurethral), so I was slower getting around the hospital room the next day. I was worried about my recovery journey being more difficult than it was after E’s birth, but thankfully, I healed pretty quickly. I credit all of the workouts I did during pregnancy (shoutout to my favorite YouTube channel — Pregnancy and Postpartum TV). I went from not being able to bend over to put my own socks on to being able to drive again, which is super important for my mental health and adventurous spirit.

Sunday night, we FaceTimed family for a few minutes, but other than that, just enjoyed our bubble of joy and love. We were able to order supper from the hospital cafe just before 7pm, so we ate in the delivery room before packing everything up and heading to their Mother/Baby Unit, which is a “private, home-like postpartum room.” It wasn’t very private, as people constantly come in and out to have you or the baby do things, but we did get some sleep. We didn’t send Arya to the nursery at all because she was such a good sleeper, and I was more worried about germs this time around since it’s winter and not springtime.

I HATED feeling every second of every Fundal Massage performed on me after birth, as I didn’t get an epidural, so I felt every second of everyone. Ugh – terrible! I also had cramping or “afterpains” as my uterus was shrinking back to size this time around whereas I do not remember this after E’s birth. Apparently, the pain gets worse after each consecutive birth. It feels so unfair to not just be pain-free after already experiencing so much pain. I’m so thankful that these cramps didn’t last more than a few days because it was very painful this time for me.

Monday morning, Mom, Dad, McKeen, and Elias came to visit us in the hospital. Elias wanted to hold her immediately. I love the family photo included below because of Arya’s expression of aww at her daddy. Their bond is already so special to witness! I love them so much.

We spent the rest of Monday resting and talking, plus figuring out what we wanted to order from the hospital cafe/menu. Kristoff called everything in ahead of time, so we planned out all of our meals. Foodies forever:) He took the most incredible care of me during my postpartum recovery and always put me first. I married the best of the best. I am so grateful that I get to do this life with Kristoff. Also, I can’t handle how cute Arya is. Is she really my daughter? I feel beyond fortunate. She is so beautiful and is an extremely happy and peaceful baby. She barely takes a pacifier (opposite Elias), though we have tried a few times. She will suck on it for like 1-2 minutes and then spit it out. We catch her just watching us most of the time … she is very content!

On Tuesday, December 16th, we ate lunch and then headed to Mom & Dad’s house to pick up Elias. He had an amazing few days playing with them. We then drove to Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions (Ibuprofen, Tylenol, and an Iron supplement). Kristoff ran back out later that afternoon to get Colace because we forgot it when we were there, but thankfully, when he was gone, both kids were sleeping, so I wasn’t outnumbered yet!

Then, one of his students’ families surprised us with dinner from Chick-Fil-A, so that was a huge, unexpected blessing. Tuesday night, we slept AMAZINGLY in our own bed with Arya beside us in the bassinet. I think she slept for 3-4 hour stretches, which was incredible. No one was pestering me all night long like that they do at the hospital, and I was actually in a comfortable bed. Yay!

Kristoff stayed home from work again on Wednesday, and we enjoyed a slow family day together. Our first day home as a family of four! I walked about .2 miles at the park with Arya in the carrier, while Kristoff and Elias biked/skateboarded along the trails. Elias knocked a glass bowl off the table after dinner, and the glass went everywhere. It was high excitement in the Tolbert household for about 10 minutes as Kristoff cleaned it up.

Kristoff then went back to work for Thursday & Friday, but I was good because I drove to my parents’ house so Elias could get 1-1 playtime in with Uncle McKeen. It was a nice, chill morning. They played cars for over an hour and didn’t even use the car mat. Elias was so engrossed by the different types of cars, and the places they “drove” the cars (ex., tire change after a race, car wash, gas fill-up station, etc.). I held Arya on the couch and just watched them play. Sigh. I’m so grateful for McKeen. Thursday night, we enjoyed a delicious beef stew, rolls, fresh salad, and banana pie (thanks, Mrs. Rhonda!).

On Friday (12/19), Arya rocked her first doctor’s appt. and had already passed her birth weight. She weighed 8lbs 2.5 oz, and she was 8lbs 1.5oz at birth. YAY!! Go Arya! I was impressed by the new doctor’s office that we recently switched to, and I’m glad that Kristoff got to meet the new doctor at this first appt for Arya. I met the doctor last month when I took Elias in to get his flu shot and fill out new patient paperwork.

Friday night, Mom, Dad, and McKeen brought us dinner, and we all fit into the van for a quick Christmas light tour that I had mapped out for them. I drove them to our favorite 3 spots near us. I never want to forget Elias saying, “Please! Please! Let me out,” when he was ready for Kristoff to unbuckle him so he could climb into the front seat to better see each light display/show. It was so desperately sweet. I was feeling anxious as I started to have some pain from breastfeeding. I took a sunflower capsule that I had on hand from breastfeeding Elias, decided to wake Arya to nurse more frequently during the night, drank a lot of water, and used ice packs as needed. Thankful to say I think I’m doing a lot better now and hopefully have warded off any issues at the moment.

On Saturday, Kristoff ran to Walmart in the morning, while I read books with Elias and played with him in his room. I also organized swimsuits for sweet summertime while I was beside their dresser and ordered a few new sets since they are cheaper to buy in the winter. Arya slept like a champ during this time. We then were home all morning and watched the 2018 Grinch Movie together. We rarely allow Elias to watch anything on the television, so he was ecstatic and talked about it for the rest of the day. Both babies napped at the same time (1pm – 3:20pm), and during this time there was a knock on the door. I was shocked to find one of my students standing there holding a bag of frozen broccoli, a box of garlic bread, a pan of chicken alfredo, a gift for Elias (Little Tikes reusable gingerbread house kit), a gift bag for the baby (Millie Moon wipes & diapers, plus an outfit), and best of all!? A book full of letters written to me by all of my sweet students. I couldn’t believe it. To experience this much love from others is something I will never, ever forget. I feel so fortunate. God is so good.

Around 3:30pm, we headed back to the same park we visited on Wednesday. Our sweet friends met us there to walk, gave us supper (yummy chili with a delicious pretzel concoction as the dessert), and surprised Elias with two board games — Candy Land and Chutes & Ladders. We enjoyed playing them as a family after dinner. Sadly, I won once, and Kristoff won twice. Next time! Elias isn’t competitive yet;)

The greatest currency is truly making core memories with those you love the most in this world, so I’m thrilled that Christmas Break 2025 is here! Let’s go. This family of four couldn’t be happier to just be together. On Monday, we take our first road trip as a family of 4 (1.5 hours each way) to get Arya’s newborn photos taken, so wish us luck.

Best,

The Tolbert Fam