Tolbert Travels

Elias’s Due Date: Monday, April 17th // Birthday: Friday, April 21st

Hi! We arrived home from the hospital after lunch on 4/23/23 with our sweet baby boy! Before the details blur here is his birth story … it was everything & more. We are so thankful for God’s provision. Kristoff and I feel more connected and that our relationship still remains #1, which is something we discussed often before E’s arrival. It has been such a joy to be a team in these early days. The neatest thing? We are still us!! I used to think I would feel different in another country and then I traveled … and I felt like myself. I was thrilled. I used to think I would feel different as a mom, but then I had a baby & I am still myself. I’m more emotional and feel the extremes faster, yes, but I am still myself. I am thrilled to join the motherhood club, as I unleash expectations and live in the moment. So far, it’s been my very favorite thing to parent with Kristoff. He has taken Elias on no less than 10 house tours and described to him in detail everything we’ve done to make this house a home. He talks to him constantly and I just adore him for it. Currently our reality is that we spend every waking moment admiring him and loving on him. I think we spend no less than 7 hours a day staring at him if my calculations are correct as we whisper, “He is ours?! God is so good. Just wow. He is perfect.” Our life has been enriched tenfold and we are so grateful!! Check out Elias’s stats in the photo below.

Ultrasound Info. Leading up to birth:

I had an extra ultrasound at my 38wk OB appt since I had gestational diabetes. It was estimated that he weighed 8lbs 3oz. Almost three weeks later when he was born, he weighed 7lbs 10oz!! K and I’s intuition was right. We had a feeling that he wasn’t over 8lbs with 2-3 weeks to go. Note to self: Don’t pay in the future for growth ultrasounds at the end of pregnancy. They are not accurate in the slightest.

At my 39-week OB appt on Thursday, 4/13 I was 60% effaced and .5cm dilated (if that haha). At my 40-week OB appt on Thursday, 4/20 I was 1cm and still 60% effaced, so I asked if my doctor would sweep my membranes. She responded during my cervical check, “I actually already am sweeping them.” Haha. It was painless, so I didn’t even notice. (Note: I had already let the nurse know I wanted my membranes swept.) Between these appointments I curbed walked a ton and bounced on the yoga ball to try to naturally induce labor, but no luck.

Early Labor

I left my 40wk appt on 4/20 and headed home to grab a snack & my exercise mat. I then drove the 30 second drive to a friend’s house to do an arm workout with her (huge fan of Pregnancy & Postpartum TV on YouTube). I also enjoyed playing with her 7mo. old baby girl. I then went home to eat lunch and talk to Kristoff while he was in his planning period. I read Heir of Fire and just relaxed. At 2:48pm I lost part of my mucus plug and at 3pm I started having small contractions that only lasted 10 seconds, occurring every 5 minutes or so. I wrote, “Not long enough to be true labor. Idk. So glad it is almost time to pick up Kristoff from work.”

K came walking out to the parking lot and he saw my eyes a lit. I said, “Do you have everything you need? I don’t think you’ll be back at work tomorrow.” He smiled so big and began to ask me all the questions.

At 5pm the contractions picked up slightly. I wrote, “I have to put my book down when I have one to focus on breathing.” Prior to this I could read through one. We then ate chicken alfredo & spinach pizza and a sald for dinner. Kristoff had ONE assignment left to complete for a grad level class, so he jumped on the computer to do that. I laid down on the floor beside to him and updated my BUMP Journal. This was an extremely meaningful time of personal reflection for me, as I looked back through my pregnancy journal and thanked Jesus for the journey. Every few minutes I would say K’s name when I felt one coming on & he would do hip squeezes, then we would go back to what we were doing. It was really funny. K turned in his assignment, which meant both of us were 100% done with all classes we were taking.

We walked two laps around our neighborhood, stopping as needed to work through the contractions. I’ll never forget K hugging me each time and kissing me through them. I then hopped in the shower, and it was INCREDIBLE. K remodeled our shower in August 2022, so it is a safe haven of ours. I pushed against the stone as needed and remember doing squats as the water washed over me. These are the last pics of me being pregnant at home:

At 11pm I told K to get some rest, as he needed to be able to drive us to the hospital (located 30-40 minutes from our home depending on traffic). I used a website on his phone to track contractions. My phone was charging, so we would have it for photos & video the next day. I ate popcorn, a banana, a snack bar, and other treats as needed to keep my energy up. I bounced on the yoga ball and just enjoyed laboring in the dark … in the comfort of our home. I wanted to be able to do labor at home so bad and was thrilled I was getting this experience. (My scheduled induction date was 4/26, so I was thrilled things were happening before then.)

I woke Kristoff up at 12:30am and showed him the data I gathered. I was drinking lots of water in the meantime. From 2am to 3:30am I cuddled in bed with Kristoff, and we worked through each contraction there on all 4s together. He is the very best at giving hip squeezes. Every penny of the birth class we took paid off. At 4AM I had a contraction lasting for one minute, then at 4:03AM I had a contraction lasting for 70 seconds, at 4:06AM 56 seconds, 4:11AM 1:07 mins., and 4:14AM 48 seconds. This is how it went — not consistent, but also not completely inconsistent haha.

We ate breakfast together around 6am (cereal and a bagel), with me running to the exercise ball to work through each contraction as needed.

We left for the hospital at 7:15am hitting rush hour traffic just perfectly. In hindsight we should have waited longer before going to the hospital, despite the website saying, “Go to the hospital!” every hour. Once arriving around 8am we walked around the parking lot for a few minutes to try to close the gap between contractions and then headed inside. My contractions were spaced much farther apart at this point, so we were not sure if we would be accepted or not.

We were placed in triage for an hour where I was hooked up to a fetal monitor and IVs. We met the doctor on call for labor and delivery. I already had seen her face online, as I read her bio and watched her videos to get to know her better haha. She admitted us even though my contractions were not consistent. I did not accept Pitocin until around 1:15pm when my contractions were not getting closer than 5 minutes apart. I probably would have stayed in early labor for another day or so, but at this point I wanted to move things along if possible. I was ready to meet our boy!

Active Labor

At 2:30pm we bumped the Pitocin from a 2 to a 3. At 4:15pm it was moved to a 6 and at 4:30pm it was moved to an 8. As I worked through every single contraction that was gaining in intensity, Kristoff was my rock and my safe place. The experience was extremely intimate, and humbling. I would never have been able to do it without him and I’m so grateful he was there for every single moment. He supported me in multiple positions and would place ice packs on my back as needed. I walked around the hospital room thanks to a Bluetooth fetal tracing monitor and also bounced on the yoga ball they had there.

Rebecca is also the reason I lasted until 5cm & 5pm to get an epidural! She was our second labor and delivery nurse, as Crystal’s shift ended. Rebecca was such a gift from God during active labor! She asked to take photos of us throughout this stage & she was extremely encouraging. She stayed with us for 4+ hours, never leaving the room or our sides. She acted as a doula. We had requested a doula upon checking in at the hospital (a service provided for free), but when we were actually in active labor we had Rebecca, so we decided we didn’t need anyone else in the room with us. She suggested positions and was encouraging throughout active labor reminding me that my body was built to do this. She would also rub my back at times, while Kristoff did hip squeezes, etc. It was a team effort.

The anesthesiologist came in around 5pm and Rebecca gave me a bear hug to keep me still during the contractions. Kristoff stood outside the door waiting for the “all clear” to come back into the room. I felt a sharp bee sting 2x (doubled the test amount) that lasted for 5 seconds at most and then an uncomfortable tingling sensation. The whole procedure took at most 20 minutes. The anesthesiologist wanted to set it to a 12, but Rebecca advocated for me and asked for a 10 (not as strong of a dose). I was able to still wiggle my toes and move slightly which I liked.

My water broke naturally at 5:39pm and at this point I was 6cm. My doctor came in to check on us and saw that the amniotic sac needed some help to break all the way since my water had just broken. When she punctured the sac it scared Elias and he was in distress. Everything was peaceful and relaxed one second and frantic the next. Another nurse came into the room and our doctor had me get onto my hands and knees (tricky to do when you are numb from your belly button to your toes). A fetal scalp electrode was attached to the top of his head for more accurate tracing. I remember everyone was really focused and Kristoff and I were just looking at each other. I felt peaceful still and had a feeling it would all be okay. I knew Rebecca would explain everything to us afterwards. Kristoff looked worried, but he said afterwards that looking at me calmed him. Elias’s heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm after a few minutes & we were so grateful.

Things progressed very quickly at this point forward. I was already 7cm at 5:56pm! Then mom, dad, and Michaela came walking into our labor & delivery room shortly after 7pm. Kristoff and I were surprised because we thought Kristoff would have to meet them in the lobby to grab supper. It was a really calm night at the hospital, so they let them back to be with us for a few minutes. It was wonderful to see them one last time before giving birth. Below is a photo of the four of us. ❤ There is a “no food policy”, but I snuck snacks all day long because labor is a marathon, and no food feels inhumane to me. Basically, anytime Kristoff ate, I would eat a bite or two as well. Looking back, I am so glad I did!!

Around this same time, Rebecca’s friend came into the room to take over. Rebecca hand selected Tracy for us, as she said we would all get along really well. This act of kindness meant a lot to Kristoff & I, as Rebecca went out of her way to ensure we were in the best hands possible. I was checked for the last time at 9:52pm. They said, “You’re all the way dilated!!” I was like, “No way! Wow!” At this point my contractions were consistently three minutes apart and I felt so, so happy. I loved getting the epidural because it allowed Kristoff and I talk a lot about everything that had happened and enjoy the last few minutes before meeting our son. Tracy said we would begin pushing in 30-60 minutes, so this gave us time to soak everything in. She left the room super dark for us, and we just rested and chatted. We were so close to getting to meet Elias and it felt out of this world!! The world was dark and peaceful. Our room felt cozy and calm.

Pushing Phase

Around 10:30pm it was Kristoff, Tracy, and I in the room for about 30 minutes all alone beginning the pushing phase. Tracy massaged mineral oil all over my vagina and taught me how to push. She dropped my epidural down to an 8 prior to this and took away the peanut ball I had been using for hours on end (she was great about flipping me from side to side every 20-30 minutes). Kristoff and I really liked how slow things went at this point. She took her time with letting the baby crown and we enjoyed the “turtling phase” a lot. Above me in the ceiling was reflective glass that was so neat to use to see his little head! This time in the room with Kristoff and Tracy was super magical, as we worked through each set of pushes. I felt zero pain and complete happiness. I wish I could do it all again right this second. I could have stayed working in this way for HOURS, as the epidural was doing its job haha. They each had one of my feet and I would grab my calves during each contraction, while simultaneously doing a crunch and working with them.

Then our doctor came into the room with a team of folks. The team went towards the baby warmer area, and she came to the bed to check on me. She worked with us through four more sets of pushing with contractions. I remember reaching down and feeling Elias’s head. They asked me for the last few sets if I could do 4 pushes instead of 3 in the set and I said yes. They praised me through each one and I felt like a superstar. I could tell on the last one that if I gave it my all he would be here. I did and he was born at 11:38pm on 4/21 weighing 7lbs and 10oz. Below are a few pictures taken immediately after birth. K cut the umbilical cord after 60 seconds (delayed cord clamping) and got skin to skin time with him after me. I am so thankful Tracy snapped these photos for us that we will cherish forever!! She really is the best and I’m glad I have her cell # to see if she is on call before we deliver baby #2 one day haha.

I don’t remember delivering the placenta, so that wasn’t a big deal. I do remember them performing fundal massage throughout the evening and next day. This is used to help the uterus contract back down to its usual size. I remember using the restroom about an hour after birth successfully and I was super thankful for this. We want to always remember to have the catheter removed once birth is imminent, as our nurse told us this helps with being able to pee afterwards.

After about 2 hours we were moved to our recovery room where we breastfed for the second time and then sent him to the nursery to get some sleep. Everyone commented on what a great eater Elias was. It felt very natural and easy, compared to what I had read about it online. (The pain set in for me on day 3 — intense, sharp pain lasting for 15-20 seconds when he would first latch, but I knew it would get better, so I persisted. I’m glad I did, as breastfeeding him is really enjoyable now.)

Saturday, April 22nd

Mom, dad, and Michaela came to meet him Saturday afternoon around 3:15pm. Kristoff and I had just woken up from an incredible nap and we were so excited for them to meet Elias. We really appreciated that Michaela took lots of family photos of us too. Elias with Auntie Michaela and Grammy & Gpa. All the heart eyes!

Elias also passed all of his tests, except the hearing test. He had to re-do that one Sunday AM and passed it quickly the second time. He still had fluid in his ears during the first session. Saturday night he came back from the nursery sucking on a paci (Avent Philips!). We had tried earlier in the day with no luck, so it was really funny.

Sunday, April 23rd

Sunday morning our dear friends Emily and Jordan visited us in the hospital. We enjoyed talking with them about the entire experience. They left after his hearing test and helped K get a lot of our belongings to the car. We then ate our final lunch in the hospital and left around 2pm.

Elias lost 3% of his original body weight weighing 7lbs 6oz in the hospital and then was up to 7lbs 13oz at his first doctor’s appointment on Tuesday, 4/25. We were shocked & don’t have to return until 6/21. Yay!! We love him more than words can express, and we are so thankful for how this birth experience has made us stronger as husband + wife. Tolbert Party of 3 here to change the world!! 🙂 Here’s two hospital pics of our sweet boy!

Kissing photos by Nicole Higgins (Eva Higgins Photography) // 5 days old